Samping Craze

Fads come and go: the hoolahoop, the yoyo, the frisbee. Few stand the test of time and fewer still are as esoteric and downright creepy as “Samping”.

Samping is a phenomenon whereby people collect, preserve and trade samples of celebrities. The samples are generally frozen or preserved an alcohol/formaldehyde mixture, depending on the kind and quantity sampled.

“It’s not dissimilar to keeping an article of clothing once worn by celebrity. The samps we collect are more personal than mere objects,” says a practitioner, who refused to be named, “But I can understand that it’s not a hobby for everyone.”

The advent of the internet has seen a significant number of ‘samp-sites’, web pages that facilitate the sale and trade of samples between sample collectors or “Sampers”. The practice has been common since the fifties, when cheap refrigeration became widely available, enabling samples to be collected and frozen, although proponents state that the practice is actually an extension of the ancient Egyptian’s mummification ritual.

Michael Jackson and Barbara Streisand are the most popular bang for buck, while Chuck Norris is rating at an all time high, even though there is a running joke that vials aren’t strong enough to contain his cells. While film and television personalities are popular, there are specialist Sampers who deal with requests for bits of scientists, artists, musicians and sports stars.

“I’m not going to share how I collect my samps. I will say that so long as you have documentation on the provenance, and you’ve preserved it properly, you’re onto a solid investment.”ChesterLogoSmall

Gulls to be used in Desalination Plant

Desalination takes an enormous amount of energy, and as the water crisis increases, the search for ways to create fresh, clean water from the vast resource of the oceans becomes more intense.

Enter Samuel Ghalan, who has plans to put pesky seagulls to good use. Seagulls have a natural ‘salt-gland’, which enables them to drink salt water. It filters out the salt, letting it run from channels in their beaks, leaving fresh water behind.

“It’s quite ingenious, really, and it makes a lot of sense if you think about it. Seagulls, and other marine animals like turtles and crocodiles, haven’t got another source of fresh water. The thing is, we don’t have many turtles or crocodiles, sure, yet we’ve got a s***-load of gulls,” he says.

His proposal includes capturing and harnessing the gulls in giant ‘rookeries’ that mimic their natural roosting environment. They would then be individually subject to an operation to insert a ‘water-collector’, a custom device to divert a small amount of fresh water from the gland to a collecting satchel. The water collected is then released while the bird is resting.

“It’s only a few mils at a time. The birds don’t seem to mind. While one or two birds doesn’t yield a lot, a couple of thousand would do it. And the best thing is it’s as cheap as chips!”ChesterLogoSmall