Marxy Poppins

Artur Müller, librarian at Bremen’s Wasserbibliothek, has demonstrated that the story of Mary Poppins is actually a study in Communism, with references and symbolism littered throughout the books.

“The most obvious notion is that she (Mary Poppins) arrived on a wind from the East. What was the address? Cherry Tree Lane – cherries are red, a harbinger of the impending wave. What was the surname of the household? Banks!” says Artur, “What better way to say that the unruly and uncontrollable desire of capitalism can only be tempered by the chastisement and wisdom of a pure communist manifesto?”

He goes on to cite the various stories that were told, mostly centered around the working class and the folly of nobility, capitalism and private ownership. Inside her bag was an apron, boots, flannel nightgowns, all symbols of the working class. There was also a bottle of dark, red medicine.

The scene in which she pastes gingerbread stars bought Mrs. Corry on the sky is dripping in symbolism, he says.

“The star is a strong symbol of the socialist regime. Communism would march across the globe, just as the stars were painted on the sky. The flags of the world would all have stars upon them. When Mary Poppins danced with the planets, which we can take to be world leaders, and the sun, which is clearly a reference to Japan, her cheek was burned. This is a very real and open statement by (Travers) of her beliefs.”

Disney may or may not have understood the full intent, says Artur, but he has his concerns.

“The movie is interesting. The song, ‘A Spoon Full of Sugar’, when taken in context, is about a charge of gunpowder, that socialism would be enforced by the bullet if necessary, in order to ‘make the medicine go down’. Whether this is intentional, I am still looking into it,” he says, “Another, more blatant scene, besides the dancing sweeps and dismissal of investment over feeding the pigeons – or the masses – is the horse race. The protagonists make a big show of the insane, never ending carousel of Capitalism, and how when one breaks free from the cycle, one is truly free from the insanity.”

Artur is looking to publish his findings later this year.ChesterLogoSmall

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Talk like a Neanderthal

Ronald Treharn, of the Society of Ancestors, has released his latest breakthrough detailing the language, complete with grammar and pronunciation, of Neanderthals.

“We know that they have lips and tongues, and we know the shape of their mouths, their brains and their ears. Based on this, and cultures throughout the world, I have developed a form of linguistics that I believe accurately depicts their speech,” he says, “Don’t think of the speech as perfect sentences, rather an expression of abstract ideas.”

When asked for a sample, Ronald obliges, “The shortest and most common terms would be for shouting. Ba! – which means food – and Mek! – which means bad, or watch out – are short and unambiguous . Thus, Ger, a noise made at the back of the throat meaning sex, is for personal, quiet use.”

He goes on to explain that the meanings behind words would certainly be phonetically based. Words formed at the front of the mouth were more imperative than those formed at the back, for example, while guttural sounds contained an emphasis on the self.

“They would not have used the voiceless sibilant (s – sound). It was reserved for hushing a child or indicating surprise, rather than acting as part of a word. This leads to a further theory of mine that words were pronounced in a staccato fashion, each syllable enunciated with care. We can see that, because of the way the jaw is formed, and the apparent length of the tongue, lip-attitude is more important to the formation of words,” he says, “Thus Der-der would be an idiot or a dullard, while Wow means something wonderful.”

When pressed, he admitted, “I do think that there is a crossover from Neanderthal language to ancient languages, and these have carried through from the basic, grunts and utterances, all the way through the thousands of generations to today.”

Treharn is currently working on a book, detailing the language and its grammar.ChesterLogoSmall