The Best Medicine

Forget laughter as a cure-all, unless it’s part of a romp in the sheets. A new study reveals that the exercise and reproductive hormones that come as part of a sexually active lifestyle actually contribute greatly to health.

“The study was so conclusive,” says Jim Barker of the National Administration of Drugs and Procreation, “We were all shocked at the result. Sure, there is the obvious exercise and endorphin, but it’s more than that. Thirty minutes of sex, twice a week, had a more positive effect on the body’s overall health than daily, hour long exercise regimes.”

Scientists measured resting heart-rate, blood sugar and fat content, cortisone, salt and fluid levels, along with less tangible elements such as mood, alertness and cognitive ability. When compared to the control, candidates who did little or no exercise and did not engage in sexual activities, a sexually active lifestyle far outshone a lifestyle of exercise.

Other factors, including alcohol and tobacco consumption, age, level of education and the subject’s demographic were taken into consideration. Interestingly, these factors had little bearing on the overall results when it came to those who regularly made love.

“It’s like chalk and cheese. It’s easy to see how anecdotal evidence spawned this research. Those who had regular sex performed better across the board. They were less stressed at work, enjoyed life more and were fitter both mentally and physically. I wouldn’t be surprised if a doctor were to prescribe it as a precautionary measure.”

He stresses that maintaining a healthy diet and performing regular exercise outside of the bedroom is still recommended, despite the research.

He laughs, “Think of it as a super-food, a booster for your general well-being. Please, by all means, keep eating kale and carrots and going for runs, but, every now and then, drop the dumbbells and start playing sack races.”ChesterLogoSmall

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Radiation Link Crystal Clear

The wealthy who have more crystal glasses, pitchers and chandeliers in their house are less affected by background radiation and therefore have fewer health problems, says Doctor Merkel Van Der Gerber of Trondheim Medical Research Centre.

In a study involving data from over two hundred households, his team demonstrated that those houses with more lead crystal had consistently lower readings of Beta and Gamma radiation. In some cases, those households without crystal could have as much as 700% higher readings than those with.

“It is surprising to me. I would not have thought that such a correlation would be so apparent. We have seen previous studies that look at the air-conditioning units and how those with higher air-flow have more heavy elements, leading to higher levels of background radiation, but simply having the presence of crystal seems to be a significant factor,” he says, adding a warning, “But this is no substitute for clean living. We still advocate dusting regularly to remove dust-borne metals, and to keep air-conditioner use at a minimum.”

The type of crystal is significant, he adds. Higher lead content has a better blocking capacity. Glass with heavy metals like Uranium glass also contribute. The lower radiation reveals a lower rate of radiation related illnesses among the inhabitants.

“You can imagine that your crystal acts like a kind of sponge, soaking up high energy particles and isolating them. As a result of this study, I will certainly be investing in a crystal cabinet not only for looks but for my health as well.”ChesterLogoSmall